Thanksgiving

Today I wanted to take the time to mention all the things I am grateful for.

I am grateful that I have the chance to be here with my sister and her family. I am grateful for such wonderful nieces and that I get to be apart of their lives.

I am grateful for the chance to go to school and that I only have one more semester. I can't believe that I am almost finished. The time has gone by so quickly.

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful for the friends I have. I have some amazing friends!

I am grateful for being here on the east coast and all of the opportunities that it has given me. I am trying new things and expanding my skills in ways I never dreamed.

I am grateful for my family. I don't get to see them very often, but I love and appreciate them.

I am grateful to be alive and I can say that I am really enjoying my life right now. I am looking forward to the daily adventures I experience on the streets of New York and I am looking forward to the future whatever it may hold.

Thank you to everyone who has been apart of it.

Green

"I feel like I can relate to the Wicked Witch of the West, from Wicked. Misunderstood, as a single woman in the LDS culture. It is a little like being green. I have felt people wonder what is wrong with me. What “evil” I might have done to end up single? I have often felt "wicked" because of my choices. I have chosen to do other things over being a wife and mother. This is because I feel like that there hasn't and may never be a man to come a long that I can give my heart to. Misunderstood by men as being independent, unapproachable, a bit cold and chilly. I have been told that I play impossible to get, instead of hard to get. Will I be misunderstood my whole life? I am excited about the dreams I have despite the fact that I lack a man in my life. I have dreams, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a man in my life either.

I dream like most girls growing up and finding that one person who will be my friend, my equal, my comforter, and lover. I might never know him, so I live out my dreams in hope that he will step into my life someday. I wonder if I will ever step out of this green skin? If not, I will go on being misunderstood and green. In the eyes of others not quite a whole person, not quite knowledgeable of life, not quite schooled, someone without the education that comes from having a husband and family. Someone who just doesn’t get it. Someone who still isn’t respected as much as those who are married and have children."

I wrote this before I left Utah in 2008. I still often feel the same when I am around people from the LDS culture, but I was in a different place when I was leaving Utah than I am now. At that time I was very unhappy with my life and felt that I needed to get away from it all. I was unsure of the direction I wanted my life to go and I was so unsatisfied with the direction my life had been going. I have finally come full circle and I am happy with the direction of my life and what I am doing. I feel stronger and more independent. I am ready to let someone into my life, where in 2008, I only could shut people out. I am moving from my apartment right now and while I was packing I found this in my stuff and I thought I would share it. It might be crazy, but it was how I was feeling at the time.

I'm in Love!!!

Yes, I am in love! I never, ever thought it would happen. I did not think it was possible. I have been a cynic for years. I have suppressed all my feelings of longing and desire. I let you in and I will never, ever be the same. You have changed me and I am grateful. My heart sings and my feet feel lighter as I enter your presences.

My heart will break when I have to leave you, but for now I will cherish every moment I have with you. Today I wanted to thank you for being apart of my life! Central Park you are wonderful!

Running Boot Camp

I moved to the city about two weeks ago. I'm now living in Harlem. I'm four blocks from Central Park and I love it! It is so nice to get up in the morning and walk or run to the park. If I'm having a lazy day or the weather is nice I will walk the forty-two blocks to my school through the park. Yeah, I did that last week and it was an awesome day!

I've signed up to run a half-marathon at the end of April. I ran one last August, but I did a very stupid thing. I thought I would work on getting back into shape. Well what happened was the date rolled around and I had done maybe four runs total over the four months since I had registered for the race. I ended up running the blasted thing and wanting to die the whole time because I was so out of shape. This was last August, now we are at the end of March and I get this brilliant idea. I have one month till the next half-marathon and I again have been very bad with my running schedule. I see on the NYRR website that they have a runners boot camp. I sign up thinking I will at least make myself run one day out of the week before I attempt another half-marathon. The other idea is that someone will push me farther than I'm willing to push myself.

Today was my first class. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I can tell right now that my legs and butt are going to be very sore tomorrow. I hope I'm feeling good enough to run a 10k on Sunday, because I'm signed up to do one. I'm not going to be in great shape this time, but I will be in better shape than I was last year. Everyone in my class seems pretty cool. It is a wonderful way to spend Thursday mornings at 6:30am.

Back in School

Well I have started another semester. It is the 4th week and I am already behind. Okay lets be honest. I have been behind for the past 3 weeks. Part of the reason is because my sister has been in the hospital. She is home now and she has had her babies. I'm still trying to catch up and decided to go to school early on Thursday. I forgot that there was a walk out at school because of the increase tuition hike and budget cuts. This was suppose to happen at 1:00pm. I get to school at 3:00pm and there are police officers every where and I along with everyone else entering the school are asked for our ID's.

Apparently there was a rally with around 200 students but then there were individuals who came into the school and began vandalizing the schools and attacking the financial aid office an breaking doors. I missed all of the excitement by 2 hours. The school ended up closing everything down like the cafeteria, bookstore and all of the offices. I wasn't able to get anything done that I had planned on doing while I was there. No one was hurt and apparently those who were vandalizing the school were arrested, but were not Hunter Students. I wouldn't have minded be apart of the peaceful rally outside. I completely disagree with destruction of the school and scaring the employees of the school.

Today I'm going to go into the city have a quick bite with friends and then I'm off to the library to study!