Thanksgiving Parade!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I have really never been much of a huge fan of parades, but I do have to say that I had a great time yesterday. The weather was perfect yesterday for a parade at the end of November. The temperature was in the 50's and there was no wind. My favorite part of the parade was the balloons and the bands.

Here are some of my favorite pictures.

Crunch Time/Gratitude

I'm coming to the end of a semester. I'm stressing out! The strange thing is I'm so happy to be back in school. I didn't think that I would have enjoyed school so much. I still don't have down the perfect schedule of getting my home work done in a timely manner. I could be more diligent in my projects, and I still procrastinate when I should be studying, but I'm enjoying the journey.

Yesterday in my History of Special Educations class the teacher talked for five hours about laws and acronyms, but I loved it. After class there were people saying that it was such torture being there, but I felt differently. I was glad I was there, and it was so neat to see someone who could talk for five hours about a subject most people would consider extremely boring. She knew everything. I love being around people who know their stuff.

I have so much to do in the next three weeks. I can't even tell you how overwhelmed I feel, but I'm glad I'm here. I'm enjoying the subjects I'm studying. I guess what I'm learning will help me to be a good mother someday, or a better aunt now. So this education is already showing some benefits.

In church today the sacrament meeting was on gratitude. I was thinking as the talks were given that I have so much! I'm going to school to get a masters like I have always wanted to do. I have the chance to be close to my sister and be back in her life and be a part her daughters. I have wonderful friends here in New York and back in Utah and all over the country. I'm finally feeling hope again. Then I think what has changed? I've started praying again and reading my scriptures daily. It feels good to be moving in the right direction.

Halloween Extravaganza and Procession of the Ghouls

Tonight I had the opportunity to go to The Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine in Manhattan. Let me just start off by saying the church, I mean cathedral is HUGE! I had a great time. First thing when you walk into the cathedral there is this ghoul playing a cello or is that a base, anyway it is at the entrance of the hall. When you turn around and look at the rose stain glass window there was a large skeleton head covering it. The cathedral was filled with fog and there were green lights through out the hall. We found our seats about in the middle of the cathedral and on the isle, which was a suggestion of a friend who went to the earlier showing that day.

The lights go down and the very famous organ piece, dah, nah, nah, dah, nah, nah, nah. The movie begins. It is the silent film Nosferatu from 1922. My friend Barbara was not able to read the words on the screen from where we are so I read them to her. It was awesome to have live organ music by Timothy Brumfield. I don't know who that is, but he was awesome! I think we laughed more than anything at the film. It was a lot of fun.

When the film was over the procession of the Ghouls began. The Ghouls came out from the front of the cathedral and walked down the middle isle. The organ played and the fog came back on. The costumes were fabulous! While the procession was going down the isle, a large skeleton came down just above where I was sitting and was swinging back and forth. The skeleton head in the back bounced up and down and a man dressed as a beetle was slowly repelling down one of the giant pillars so it looked like a beetle walking down the pillar. It was really cool. One of the Ghouls stopped and scratched it's long claws on my hat.

It was a wonderful way to spend a Halloween weekend. If you ever make it to New York for Halloween, I highly recommend this. They rotate the films every year between three different films. I'm looking forward to next year. It looks like next year is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1922).

Reflections and Realizations’ of a Hard Heart

This is an expert from my new journal I'm beginning to keep. I am hoping to move forward this year and no longer slide down the slippery slope I have found myself on the last few years. I'm resolved to make the rest of 2009 and 2010 a time of progress and healing. I need to heal my heart. Please pray for me.

"October 2, 2009

Where I have been the last couple of years is a place that I thought I never would end up at. I have developed a hard heart, something I told myself I would never have. I witnessed a hard heart in my grandmother and made myself a promise years ago that I would not end up like her. I have not become my grandmother in many aspects, but I have nurtured a hard heart the last few years. I have been trying to figure out this last year while living with my sister Terri why or how I came to this place. Teaching the young women in the New City ward helped me find those answers and watching general conference this weekend confirmed what I had found out for myself.

I stopped praying morning and night before I left Utah in 2008. I no longer asked Heavenly Father for comfort or guidance. I felt that I didn’t needed or I guess more correctly I no longer wanted to include the Lord in my life. I stopped reading the scriptures. I felt that my life was becoming unbalanced and I felt guilt if I read anything other than the scriptures, so I stopped reading the scriptures. It doesn’t make since, but that is what I did. I stopped writing in my journal. I have no idea where my journal is, but I thought that I would start keeping an electronic journal now. I haven’t been to a temple session since I was in Utah and now my recommend is expired. It has been over a year since I have gone. That is the longest that I have let myself be away from the House of the Lord.

I wanted to stop believing because I felt that believing was making me unhappy. I felt that no matter how hard I worked in my callings and no matter how good I tried to be that I was still falling short of what I was suppose to do. I guess that all of my experiences with LDS men fell short of what my expectations were of having a loving and lasting relationship. I found that men who were not LDS treated me better. I didn’t understand why LDS men didn’t see my worth. I became frustrated with the lack of options. I felt misunderstood by my married friends. I found myself unhappy and decided to move away from what I perceived as the cause of my unhappiness. So here I am today, in a state of depression that I have never known and I am out of shape looking for a way to rekindle the flame I felt in my life, and the desire to live again.

Did I need to go through this trial? I don’t know, but I’m here and I want to feel good again. I want to feel a live again. I want to feel my heart again. I want to feel whole again.

Prayer: Beginning to pray again!"

Hunter College

I'm studying Special Education for Early Childhood. It has been two weeks of school, and I love my classes. Getting back into the mind set of studying has been difficult, but necessary. I really want to make this experience a good one and I want to take advantage of having some wonderful teachers.

The pictures I have taken of Lexington from the air bridges that are on the 3rd and 7th floor of the school between the East and West Buildings. It is a very urban school, no grass, just cement and glass. It is just two blocks from Central Park, so if I really want an out door experience I do have close access to one of the best parks in the world.

Just wanted to give you all a small peek where I will be spending the next two years.

Concord, Mass

I went with a friend to Cambridge this weekend and did a little site seeing. I just have to say that Boston is one of my favorite cities in the U.S. (Don't let my brother-in-law hear me say that.)

We took the "Lucky Bus" out of Chinatown to Boston. We originally thought it was going to be a three and a half hour ride, which turned into five hours. Ugh! So we arrived in Boston much later than we had planned. My friend Barb lived in Cambridge last year while she attended Harvard, so we were staying with Rebecca, her roommate from last year. On Monday, Barb and I rented a car and had the opportunity to go to Concord. It was a nice drive and we had an enjoyable day wandering the area. I took a walking tour of the town, and learned fun little facts like, the school where May Alcott taught the famous artist Daniel Chester French. (Abigail) May Alcott was the sister of Louisa May Alcott's who wrote "Little Women". Amy in "Little Women" is loosely based on "May" Abigail May Alcott. Concord was beautiful and it was so nice to see the area, where so much literature was created.

I also had the opportunity to see revolutionary war sites. This is the sculpture of the "Minutemen". This sculpture is done by Daniel Chester French who I mentioned above, he also did the "Lincoln Memorial" in D.C. He did this when he was about 19 years old. This is at the North Bridge where some of the first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired.

After the walking tour, Barb took me to one of the best ice cream shops I have ever been to. It is called Kimball Farm and it is in the middle of nowhere, but it is very busy. The small is two large scoops and it was something like $3.50. Isn't that small huge. I am embarrassed to say, but I finished most of my ice cream. I got black raspberry and lemon sorbet. This photo is of Barb's ice cream. She got chocolate heath bar and chocolate chip cookie dough rolled in jimmies.


When the ice cream was consumed and guilt began to set in, we decided to drive over to Walden Pond and take a walk. The pound is beautiful and it takes about 40 minutes to walk the perimeter of the pond. It was Labor Day so the pond was very busy with swimmers and strollers and even a couple of people trying to fish. It was a beautiful evening and it felt so peaceful despite having so many occupants. I really enjoyed the walk and even felt a little enlightened afterwards.

It was a nice quick to to the Boston area. I will have to go back again. Hopefully sooner than later.

Under the Same Moon

Tonight I wanted a break from homework. Yes, it is my first week and I'm already looking for breaks from homework. Well I had this movie that I ordered from Blockbuster and it seemed like the perfect way to give my mind a break. Really, did I need a break after only one day of reading. Oh, back to the reason I'm writing this, and it is not to avoid studying, okay maybe a little. I digress.

Under the Same Moon "The debut feature from director Patricia Riggen, this drama centers on a young boy's journey across the U.S./Mexico border to be reunited with his mother. Adrian Alonso stars as Carlitos, a Mexican adolescent living with his grandmother while his mother works as a maid in the U.S., hoping someday to send for her child. But when the grandmother dies unexpectedly, Carlitos must sneak across the border and seek out his mother. Featuring a supporting performance by America Ferrera of ABC's Ugly Betty, Under the Same Moon premiered at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, where it received a standing ovation. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide"

Oh, this was a beautiful movie. If you want a drama that is well made this is the film for you. I fell in love with Carlitos. I love how this little boy changed people. I cheered for him the whole time. I really enjoyed this movie, and felt hope. If you want a break from the normal Hollywood releases, this is a nice drama without being to heavy. You do have to be willing to read subtitles, but don't let that stop you. It was fabulous!