Snow in New York

This weekend we had a big snow storm in New York. I guess it just wasn't New York, but most of the east coast. The news stations warned everyone and I knew that going into the city on a Saturday night might mean not getting home. So I planned a head to stay with my friend if I wasn't able to get home.

I got on the bus and getting into the city on Saturday night was one of the easiest commutes I have ever had. No one was going into the city. There was no wait for the tunnel at all. When I got to Port Authority the snow began to fall. I met my friend Sharilyn and we waited for our friend Barb. Barb called a little after the appointed meeting time. She told us she was having trouble printing her final and said she wouldn't be able to met us for the evening we had planned. Sharilyn and I decided to take the subway up to Barb and meet with her once she was finished with her paper. We got on the subway and got off at 116th. When we got to the stop the snow was really coming down so we called her and told her that we would meet her at DeLuxe Cafe on 113th.

We got to the restaurant and sat down to defrost. We talked to the waiter and listened to his suggestions then waited a little longer. We finally decided to order our dinner. I got the meat loaf with mushroom sauce and mashed potatoes and Sharilyn ordered the lasagna. We both decided on warm comfort food to go along with the projected blizzard. Shortly after ordering Barb called us and told us to go a head and order. She said she had just finished printing her paper and would be there shortly. She arrived just as we were getting our food. She ordered a hamburger and we settled in for good food and conversation. We laughed and talked and enjoyed a nice evening with Barb before she headed home for the holidays.

When dinner was over we said goodbye to Barb, then Sharilyn and I decided to go catch a movie before calling it a night. We went to the theater at Lincoln Center and watched Invictus. I really enjoyed the movie, but as Sharilyn and I were talking after the movie, I was a little embarrassed and surprised by the fact that apartheid ended in my life time. I had no idea that it took place during 1992. I was so impressed with Morgan Freeman's performance of Nelson Mandela. I loved his message of forgiveness, and how he unified his nation. He was so wise in how he handled unifying a nation that was at the verge of falling apart. I really loved how he guided people together to begin the healing of a nation on the verge of self destruction. Forgiveness was his message to those who worked closely with him and for those of his nation.

In the movie Nelson Mandela gives the poem that follows to the captain of the Spring Board, which was the South Africa rugby team. He tells him how he used this poem while he was incarcerated for 27 years with a large part on Robben Island. When things were tough he would recite this poem.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

This was an inspiring movie for me. I really enjoyed the message of forgiveness and that we have control over our souls even if we may not have control over the situation.

The Cookie Making Has Commenced!

It is December, and the air has finally cooled down, and it is beginning to feel like winter. I have just finished my classes for the semester and it is time to move on to the next phase of December, the Christmas holiday!

I'm so excited to go to the Lincoln Center to see Handel's Messiah at the Avery Fisher Hall on Wednesday night. I have dusted off my scores and I just need to pick out an outfit. My good friend Sharilyn is going to join me in my yearly tradition and we will sing our little hearts out. I love Sing-alongs! Can't wait till the 16th.

Tonight I made the first batch of cookie dough, orange sunshine cookies. These are carrot cookies with an orange frosting. Tomorrow is going to be the beginning of the cookie assembly line. I have planned on making at least nine different types of cookies. Ginger cookies, mexican wedding cookies, snickerdoodles, lemon bars, orange sunshine cookies, cherry macaroons, peanut blossoms, sugar cookies and chocolate crinkle cookies. I love making cookies just as much as I love eating them. It makes me happy. I don't even know if the people who get the cookies even like them, but I enjoy making them just the same. It gives me a reason to go and visit people, and I love doing that too. I may decide to post a picture of the finished products if I remember.

Here are a few other things that I plan on doing during the Christmas Holiday. Free ice skating in Bryant Park, because I own my own skates. :) Going to the Met because I haven't been there in years. Rockefeller Center to see the tree and 5th Ave to see the window displays. Watching movies that I haven't had the chance to see yet. Best of all hanging out with Maddie and Terri! Terri and I will try and get a little sewing done before January.

I am looking forward to relaxing and maybe even getting a few runs in. It feels good to be free from deadlines for a little while.

Thanksgiving Parade!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I have really never been much of a huge fan of parades, but I do have to say that I had a great time yesterday. The weather was perfect yesterday for a parade at the end of November. The temperature was in the 50's and there was no wind. My favorite part of the parade was the balloons and the bands.

Here are some of my favorite pictures.

Crunch Time/Gratitude

I'm coming to the end of a semester. I'm stressing out! The strange thing is I'm so happy to be back in school. I didn't think that I would have enjoyed school so much. I still don't have down the perfect schedule of getting my home work done in a timely manner. I could be more diligent in my projects, and I still procrastinate when I should be studying, but I'm enjoying the journey.

Yesterday in my History of Special Educations class the teacher talked for five hours about laws and acronyms, but I loved it. After class there were people saying that it was such torture being there, but I felt differently. I was glad I was there, and it was so neat to see someone who could talk for five hours about a subject most people would consider extremely boring. She knew everything. I love being around people who know their stuff.

I have so much to do in the next three weeks. I can't even tell you how overwhelmed I feel, but I'm glad I'm here. I'm enjoying the subjects I'm studying. I guess what I'm learning will help me to be a good mother someday, or a better aunt now. So this education is already showing some benefits.

In church today the sacrament meeting was on gratitude. I was thinking as the talks were given that I have so much! I'm going to school to get a masters like I have always wanted to do. I have the chance to be close to my sister and be back in her life and be a part her daughters. I have wonderful friends here in New York and back in Utah and all over the country. I'm finally feeling hope again. Then I think what has changed? I've started praying again and reading my scriptures daily. It feels good to be moving in the right direction.

Halloween Extravaganza and Procession of the Ghouls

Tonight I had the opportunity to go to The Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine in Manhattan. Let me just start off by saying the church, I mean cathedral is HUGE! I had a great time. First thing when you walk into the cathedral there is this ghoul playing a cello or is that a base, anyway it is at the entrance of the hall. When you turn around and look at the rose stain glass window there was a large skeleton head covering it. The cathedral was filled with fog and there were green lights through out the hall. We found our seats about in the middle of the cathedral and on the isle, which was a suggestion of a friend who went to the earlier showing that day.

The lights go down and the very famous organ piece, dah, nah, nah, dah, nah, nah, nah. The movie begins. It is the silent film Nosferatu from 1922. My friend Barbara was not able to read the words on the screen from where we are so I read them to her. It was awesome to have live organ music by Timothy Brumfield. I don't know who that is, but he was awesome! I think we laughed more than anything at the film. It was a lot of fun.

When the film was over the procession of the Ghouls began. The Ghouls came out from the front of the cathedral and walked down the middle isle. The organ played and the fog came back on. The costumes were fabulous! While the procession was going down the isle, a large skeleton came down just above where I was sitting and was swinging back and forth. The skeleton head in the back bounced up and down and a man dressed as a beetle was slowly repelling down one of the giant pillars so it looked like a beetle walking down the pillar. It was really cool. One of the Ghouls stopped and scratched it's long claws on my hat.

It was a wonderful way to spend a Halloween weekend. If you ever make it to New York for Halloween, I highly recommend this. They rotate the films every year between three different films. I'm looking forward to next year. It looks like next year is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1922).

Reflections and Realizations’ of a Hard Heart

This is an expert from my new journal I'm beginning to keep. I am hoping to move forward this year and no longer slide down the slippery slope I have found myself on the last few years. I'm resolved to make the rest of 2009 and 2010 a time of progress and healing. I need to heal my heart. Please pray for me.

"October 2, 2009

Where I have been the last couple of years is a place that I thought I never would end up at. I have developed a hard heart, something I told myself I would never have. I witnessed a hard heart in my grandmother and made myself a promise years ago that I would not end up like her. I have not become my grandmother in many aspects, but I have nurtured a hard heart the last few years. I have been trying to figure out this last year while living with my sister Terri why or how I came to this place. Teaching the young women in the New City ward helped me find those answers and watching general conference this weekend confirmed what I had found out for myself.

I stopped praying morning and night before I left Utah in 2008. I no longer asked Heavenly Father for comfort or guidance. I felt that I didn’t needed or I guess more correctly I no longer wanted to include the Lord in my life. I stopped reading the scriptures. I felt that my life was becoming unbalanced and I felt guilt if I read anything other than the scriptures, so I stopped reading the scriptures. It doesn’t make since, but that is what I did. I stopped writing in my journal. I have no idea where my journal is, but I thought that I would start keeping an electronic journal now. I haven’t been to a temple session since I was in Utah and now my recommend is expired. It has been over a year since I have gone. That is the longest that I have let myself be away from the House of the Lord.

I wanted to stop believing because I felt that believing was making me unhappy. I felt that no matter how hard I worked in my callings and no matter how good I tried to be that I was still falling short of what I was suppose to do. I guess that all of my experiences with LDS men fell short of what my expectations were of having a loving and lasting relationship. I found that men who were not LDS treated me better. I didn’t understand why LDS men didn’t see my worth. I became frustrated with the lack of options. I felt misunderstood by my married friends. I found myself unhappy and decided to move away from what I perceived as the cause of my unhappiness. So here I am today, in a state of depression that I have never known and I am out of shape looking for a way to rekindle the flame I felt in my life, and the desire to live again.

Did I need to go through this trial? I don’t know, but I’m here and I want to feel good again. I want to feel a live again. I want to feel my heart again. I want to feel whole again.

Prayer: Beginning to pray again!"

Hunter College

I'm studying Special Education for Early Childhood. It has been two weeks of school, and I love my classes. Getting back into the mind set of studying has been difficult, but necessary. I really want to make this experience a good one and I want to take advantage of having some wonderful teachers.

The pictures I have taken of Lexington from the air bridges that are on the 3rd and 7th floor of the school between the East and West Buildings. It is a very urban school, no grass, just cement and glass. It is just two blocks from Central Park, so if I really want an out door experience I do have close access to one of the best parks in the world.

Just wanted to give you all a small peek where I will be spending the next two years.

Concord, Mass

I went with a friend to Cambridge this weekend and did a little site seeing. I just have to say that Boston is one of my favorite cities in the U.S. (Don't let my brother-in-law hear me say that.)

We took the "Lucky Bus" out of Chinatown to Boston. We originally thought it was going to be a three and a half hour ride, which turned into five hours. Ugh! So we arrived in Boston much later than we had planned. My friend Barb lived in Cambridge last year while she attended Harvard, so we were staying with Rebecca, her roommate from last year. On Monday, Barb and I rented a car and had the opportunity to go to Concord. It was a nice drive and we had an enjoyable day wandering the area. I took a walking tour of the town, and learned fun little facts like, the school where May Alcott taught the famous artist Daniel Chester French. (Abigail) May Alcott was the sister of Louisa May Alcott's who wrote "Little Women". Amy in "Little Women" is loosely based on "May" Abigail May Alcott. Concord was beautiful and it was so nice to see the area, where so much literature was created.

I also had the opportunity to see revolutionary war sites. This is the sculpture of the "Minutemen". This sculpture is done by Daniel Chester French who I mentioned above, he also did the "Lincoln Memorial" in D.C. He did this when he was about 19 years old. This is at the North Bridge where some of the first shots of the Revolutionary War were fired.

After the walking tour, Barb took me to one of the best ice cream shops I have ever been to. It is called Kimball Farm and it is in the middle of nowhere, but it is very busy. The small is two large scoops and it was something like $3.50. Isn't that small huge. I am embarrassed to say, but I finished most of my ice cream. I got black raspberry and lemon sorbet. This photo is of Barb's ice cream. She got chocolate heath bar and chocolate chip cookie dough rolled in jimmies.


When the ice cream was consumed and guilt began to set in, we decided to drive over to Walden Pond and take a walk. The pound is beautiful and it takes about 40 minutes to walk the perimeter of the pond. It was Labor Day so the pond was very busy with swimmers and strollers and even a couple of people trying to fish. It was a beautiful evening and it felt so peaceful despite having so many occupants. I really enjoyed the walk and even felt a little enlightened afterwards.

It was a nice quick to to the Boston area. I will have to go back again. Hopefully sooner than later.

Under the Same Moon

Tonight I wanted a break from homework. Yes, it is my first week and I'm already looking for breaks from homework. Well I had this movie that I ordered from Blockbuster and it seemed like the perfect way to give my mind a break. Really, did I need a break after only one day of reading. Oh, back to the reason I'm writing this, and it is not to avoid studying, okay maybe a little. I digress.

Under the Same Moon "The debut feature from director Patricia Riggen, this drama centers on a young boy's journey across the U.S./Mexico border to be reunited with his mother. Adrian Alonso stars as Carlitos, a Mexican adolescent living with his grandmother while his mother works as a maid in the U.S., hoping someday to send for her child. But when the grandmother dies unexpectedly, Carlitos must sneak across the border and seek out his mother. Featuring a supporting performance by America Ferrera of ABC's Ugly Betty, Under the Same Moon premiered at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, where it received a standing ovation. ~ Matthew Tobey, All Movie Guide"

Oh, this was a beautiful movie. If you want a drama that is well made this is the film for you. I fell in love with Carlitos. I love how this little boy changed people. I cheered for him the whole time. I really enjoyed this movie, and felt hope. If you want a break from the normal Hollywood releases, this is a nice drama without being to heavy. You do have to be willing to read subtitles, but don't let that stop you. It was fabulous!

NYC half marathon

Well this morning I ran the NYC half marathon. Since May 3rd I had been planning on running the race. I had ample time to train, but I just couldn't get myself out to run like I had in the past. I ran maybe once or twice a month the last three months. Let me just say that is not a good training plan. The last time I ran was a 10K on July 26th.

Today I ran one of the hardest races, of my life. It was hot and humid which didn't help with me being so out of shape. Thank goodness there were no injuries, and I felt good for the most part accept my feet, and the blasted heat. My feet were not accustomed to the mileage, but I can say that I didn't get any blisters. Yeah! My endurance is what I really struggled with.

I'm beginning to think I'm a little masochistic in my running. I ran the 2004 Salt Lake Marathon without training. At least then I was still running six miles three times a week. Who signs up for races and then doesn't train? Me, I'm guilty.

Insomnia

I have never had a problem with sleeping. I'm one of those people, when my head hits the pillow I'm out. I wake up 6 to 8 hours later ready to go for the day. I usually will wake up before my alarm goes off. My former roommates can vouch that I'm typically a morning person.

Well for the last 3 nights I find myself waking at around 3:00 or 4:00am, but this morning it was at 1:00am. I'm not sure what to think about this new development. I'm a little stressed because I start a masters program at the end of the month. This might be the cause of my sleepless nights. I have found that I'm a little more iritable during the day. How do people do it all the time? I'm not too worried since it is only the third night, but if this translates into months of no sleep, then I think I will not be too happy with this new state. I guess I can be happy that I had 36 years of good sleep.

Conversation with a 6 year old

So, I was out in my parents yard today, starting up the charcoal to BBQ some chicken. All of the sudden a little blonde hair girl walks out of my parents backyard and starts asking me questions without introducing herself. I ask her where she came from, and she said she was visiting her grandfather, and points to my parents backyard. I assumed she was visiting my parents neighbors behind their house. Then I see my dad's friend in the backyard cutting up the trees that fell in a storm two years ago. He has been coming to get wood to heat his home. I go to say hello to him and discover that the little blonde girl is with him. He tells me her name is Sage.

So, I go back to preparing the coals and she begins asking me all kinds of questions and the first question is do I believe in fairy's. I say, "I did at one time and I know people who still do." She tells me that she believes in fairies. The conversation continues, and she asks me how old I am. She thinks I am a teenager. I then proceed to tell her that I am probably older than her mother. She said she didn't think so. I ask how old is your mother, and she tells me that she is 30. I said well I'm 36 years old, so I'm older than your mother.

Some how in the conversation it came out that I don't have children and don't want them right now. She said, "Why don't you want children. You should try to have kids you might like trying, and if you keep trying you might get a kid." I'm thinking in my head, "that is percisely what I am worried about, that I will like the trying part, and then I will end up with a kid. It wouldn't be prudent for someone one in my situation." She kept saying, "I think you should try, I think you would like trying. Haven't you ever tried something that you didn't think you would like and you liked it, like grabbing a spiderweb." I started to laugh.

San Diego Trip 2009

I had the opportunity to travel to San Diego recently. I was so excited to feel the intense sun of the west coast. I often feel that the east coast doesn't have the same sunshine as the west. I know it is all in my head, but it just seems to be much brighter on the west coast. I arrived in San Diego on July 14th and after a long flight from New York I took it easy for the rest of the day.

July 15th was the day first day we spent at SeaWorld. I have to say that I really enjoyed being up close to some amazing sea life, but my favorite part of that day was going with my niece to the Shamu Show. My niece Maddie was so cute. There is part of the show where they have the audience do the Shamu Slam. You lift both hands in the air in front of you and then bring them down, and repeat. During this time the orca swims in the tank splashing the audience. My little niece who is 18 months old was having so much fun doing the slam. I have attached a video, but she just at the very end.


July 16th I had the opportunity to take the Amtrak up to Dana Point. The ride on the train was beautiful. I got to see some wonderful beaches. I was going up to visit friends that I had while I lived in Salt Lake. Christy Johnson picked me up at the train station, and took me over to visit another good friend from Salt Lake, Barbie Miranda. After a good visit, I went with Christy to see where Christy and Eric had just moved. They have a beautiful view of the ocean.

Then I spent some quality time with Christy and Eric.

That night Barbie, George and their two beautiful children joined us for dinner. We had a great dinner, and then Eric and Christy took me down to the beach to have a nice walk. It was so wonderful to spend the day with such good friends.

The next day Eric drove me back to San Diego and I spent another day at Sea World with Seth, Maddie and Tammy. Tammy and I got to ride the Atlantis and we all checked out the Commerson's Dolphin. Maddie loved the dolphin. It is black and white and a small dolphin. I borrowed this picture from the web. I didn't have my camera with me to take a picture at SeaWorld. They were so cute. I think they were my favorite animal there.


Our last day in San Diego was spent at La Jolla. Terri was meeting up with a friend there and so we went there before we had to go to the airport.

Tammy and I walked a long the coast then we went to the museum there. It was featuring architecture. I really enjoyed it, but Tammy said she would have preferred paintings. I have this fun picture of Tammy in the garden by a sculpture.

Sleeping on the Streets of New York.

I had a little adventure this weekend. Shakespeare in the Park; the "Twelfth Night" with Anne Hathaway as Viola. I really enjoy the "Twelfth Night". I watched in the past at the Cedar City Shakespeare Festival. I was so excited about the opportunity to get free tickets, so my sister Terri had planned to stand in line with me on Thursday morning to get tickets for that evenings show. You can only get tickets the day of the show, so we show up at Central Park at 5:30am and the line is about six blocks long. We ask the people in the line towards the front what time they had arrived and they said 4:30am. We decide there was no way we would be getting tickets that day. I told Terri, that I would come back the next day at 2:00am to get in line.

Friday at 12:30am I begin my trip to the city. I have a sleeping bag, air mattress, food, water, dog, dog food and sewing project. I cross the Hudson on the ferry smuggling Phoebe on. I catch a cab and get out at 81st Street and Central Park West. I arrive at 1:05am. I'm an hour earlier than I plan. I think I'm doing alright. I get out of the cab at the beginning of the line. I start walking down the block. I see tons of people. I keep walking, and I find myself finally at 86th Street. I get my place in line and begin the waiting. I can see people jumping into the line in front of me, but of course it is the honor system and confronting someone will do no good.

I set up and begin talking to the people around me. Just in front of me is an interesting man by the name of Patrick. He is from Vancouver, Canada and is in New York City doing a doctorate in social something or the other. He flies to India to do research. Behind me were two students that were probably writers or actors. I talked most of the night to Patrick, except the two hours that we both try to get some sleep. I only got at the most one hour of sleep. At about 3:45am I'm awaken hearing "Billy Jean is not my lover" blaring loudly. I think it is a car waiting at the light, and I think, okay when will the light change. It is still blaring. Phoebe is visibly annoyed. I look up and see two men walking down the street. One holding a boom box and the other laughing at him. The man with the stereo is dancing and begins yelling, "Michael isn't dead." "Michael lives on!" I look and the guy is doing some vulgar dance moves to a light pole. All I'm thinking is will someone brake that stereo. It took him forever to make his way down the street, I know because I heard at least three songs. You could hear people from the line yelling at him to turn it down.

At 6:00am they let us into the park to form the official line. The employees are trying to keep people from cutting into line as we move to the official line. They walk along and give us instruction of not being able to leave the line and if we let others cut we will be removed from the line along with the person we let into the line.

I find myself in a little area that is wooded and dirt. There is an amazing tree about 50 feet infront of me that would be an amazing climbing tree. I love all of the knots and twists of the tree. I set up and begin working on my sewing project. I find the park much more comfortable than the street. I visit more with Patrick and we take turns holding each others spots for restroom runs. I have to watch Phoebe when other dogs get too close, because she has had a bad night with no sleep and is very territorial of her little space.

Patrick and the two guys behind me feel good that we will get tickets. I'm still nervous. The security begins walking up and down the line telling us that at 12:45pm they will begin giving out the tickets. We all began packing and getting our things ready to move. When we move you can see the line snaking through the park toward the theater. By 1:20pm I'm almost to the theater. I'm so close and then the line stops. I hear them beginning to announce something. My stomach drops. They begin thanking us for coming out, but all of the tickets and vouchers have been given out for that evenings show. I begin counting the people in front of me. Twenty-eight people in front of me. I was twenty-nine people away from getting a ticket after a twelve hour wait. You would think that I would be upset, but I wasn't. I really enjoyed my opportunity to sleep on a street in New York City. I had great conversation's and the weather was perfect for a twelve hour wait in line. Yes, I didn't get the tickets I wanted so badly, but I will always remember the night I camped out on Central Park West.

Lesson learned: Go early in the production. The week before, there were no lines and everyone who wanted tickets got them. Don't wait till the closing weekend.

4th of July

Well I can say for a fact, that last nights fireworks across the Hudson were the best I have ever seen. I had the wonderful opportunity to sit in my sister's father-in-laws apartment on the 41st floor. We had an unobstructed view of the Hudson. We watched as the Hudson River filled up with boats and when it was dark it looked as though the city extended across the water to Jersey, with all of the boat lights. Then it was fun to watch the six barges that were filled with fireworks get into position. We had good food and I was with great company. When the Macy's show started we turned on the TV to channel 4 and had it on in the background so we could hear the Boston Pops play as the fireworks exploded before our eyes. I have never had the opportunity to see them from a wonderful angle, it was amazing. It felt like we were in box seats at a Jazz game. It was so fun listening to Maddie as she ooo-ed and ah-ed over her first firework show.

Happy 4th everyone!

Good bye Beetle

I'm officially a New Yorker. I sold my car to my parents and they left with it on Thursday. It is interesting being without wheels. I have had a car since I was 19. I never thought I would be without a car, but it makes more sense for me to get rid of it now.

My little car was good to me and I will miss it. I will now be joining the groups of mass commuters of public transportation.

Thank you for the wonderful memories!

"Valentino: The Last Emperor"

Last night I had the opportunity to watch this film with my good friend Nicky who was in town for business. After a long walk in a torrential down poor and navigating the subway system of New York we made it to CC Cinema for the 8:05 showing of "Valentino: The Last Emperor". I love documentaries, but this one for me was a lot of fun. Even though you may not be able to tell from my style choices, I love the clothing industry. I love especially the design part. I love it when a piece of clothing lays just right because it has been cut properly and sewn to fit. I love the rich fabric the makes the design look just right.

My favorite part of the film was watching the process of constructing the garment. From sketching to finished product. I enjoyed watching Valentino speak about seeing the dress in a dream then woke to sketch it. He had a group of ladies who were amazing. They sewed everything by hand. I love that. Nothing is more amazing than constructing something with your own hands. Placing the stitch in just the right place so the it looks perfect. The detail they did was amazing. In the film his partner and friend Giancarlo Giammetti talked about how they bought a sewing machine early in the business and it has never been used.

If you enjoy fashsion and get the opportunity, I say take a moment to watch this.

Thanks Nicky for braving the weather to see this with me.